A Work In Progress

I may not have been here for too long but, I know that there is nothing better or more healthier and sane than a person who decides to go on the journey of working on himself/herslf to become a better person.

Now, I know that many would say, “hey! I’m already a better person”. “come on! I know about this already” or “I’m already working on myself “.

If you are working on yourself now towards positivity then you are on the right track. But, you should also know that many aren’t working on themselves for good but instead are dangerously edging towards negativity and thinking that they are; without a moment pause to see what or who they are hurting.

Now, this is where I come in.

Sometimes, we can get so overwhelmed with the thought of working on ourselves that we lose sight of what is really in front of us. Some, develop pride and get so full of themselves and still call it self love. Some become distant and family members and friends won’t hear from them anymore. Some become incessantly annoying and controlling thereby losing the beauty and what it truly means to work on oneself.

They probably don’t see this and even when told, you automatically become a hater. They don’t see the toxicity around them but can clearly see it in others. Eventually, they get into relationships and before someone says Jack, they are out of it. When asked what happened, you hear them say things like, “he was way too toxic, I couldn’t handle it” or “she has alot of bad energy and baggage and her toxicity is crazy”.

Shut up!

Do you think that you are a saint?

Do you think you don’t have any toxic trait?

Do you think it’s only you that people do wrong to and you don’t hurt them?

Seriously, we need to do better than heaping blames on people and calling them toxic, when you clearly have yours.

We’ve only got one life to live and not two. So, how about we start reevaluating our lives and checking ourselves… huh?

Making the most of our time by being around people who will bring out the best in us. Many get so money crazed all in the name of working on themselve and end up plunging themselves into depression which eventually leads to suicide.

Forgetting the little things that matter…

Seeing all of these negativity, why not choose to work positively on yourself and at the same time making sure you don’t derail.

If you are not sure of how to start, I would like to say that you should start with first, being honest enough to admit to yourself that you’ve got some toxic traits too. Give yourself a breather and back away from the negativity around you then begin to evaluate yourself and life choices. Ask for help too. Don’t ever think you are too awesome or too big to ask for help. You’d be surprise who will actually stick out their neck to help.

The world is always changing and everyday new stories are told. Take up that book now and read. Who knows? You’d probably end up writing one.🤔

Drop every sense of entitlement in you that you may have towards people, including family, lover and friends. Don’t ever think that because you are familiar or related to them then, they must do this or that for you.

No, no, no, no! Don’t think that way.

Remember, you weren’t there when they were building their lives and even if you were there, it doesn’t give you any right to feel entitled to what they have. They don’t owe you and you don’t owe them.

Have you seen the seven wonders of the world? 😂😂😂 I mean for real?

You may need to get that travel bag, a passport, good kicks and ‘au revoir…😂😂

Talk about having a good health, eating right and exercising as much as you can. #FitFamActivated.

Listen to good music and believe me, it never gets old. It will help in healing you.

Take some time to meditate and seek who or whatever that you believe in.

Last but not the least, spend time with people who encourages and supports you to be better than you were yesterday. Who knows? You might find the person to walk down the aisle with in your journey of becoming a better you.

A little note from me…

I know that I’ve got some toxic traits. I know that there are days you don’t want to be around me and sometimes, you probably even hate me because of these toxic traits. But believe me when, I tell you that accepting I have one and not just every other person out there is a big step for me.

Would you believe me If I told you that I’m working on it. I’m working on being a better person and trust me it hasn’t been easy. Yes, it is not but I’m doing it anyways for my own sanity and others too.

PS: Work on yourself and enjoy the benefits that come with it. Don’t think you don’t have any and don’t go judging others without taking the plank out of your eyes first. (Matthew 7:5)

This wallflower can only but, write and hope it gets out someday….

Rants Of A Broken Young Woman

Ronke run! Run!

Ronke begins to run as fast as she can as tears pours down her beautiful white dress making it hard for her to see.

“Ahh- I’ve caught you now”, says pastor Bola. He grabs her and begins to grope her whilst whispering naughty words to her.

Pastor please let me go! Please sir, I beg you. Please, you don’t have to do thi—-

“shhhh…. grace covers me and as your pastor, it covers you too”. “Now, shut up!” he commanded.


This right here is what many young ladies, female children and even married women go through at the hands of their pastors, uncles, cousins, teachers, family friends, mentors and even brothers etc.

Many would say, “she should have worn a longer skirt” or “she should have spoken up about it earlier”. None of this makes sense.

Whatever happened to our humanity?

How did we get here?

These things happen and we don’t get to talk about them because of the way society would look at us including our family members and so we keep mute. Now, the damage grows with us and some end up going through this cycle one too many times until they die or find a saviour.

Sometimes, you wonder why there are so many dysfunctional women with loads of emotional baggage in the world today. Well….here it is. ☝️

The world isn’t just a global village anymore. It is so much more than meets the eye. New technologies comes into the world almost everyday and we see thousands of people campaigning and setting up meets and creating awareness for it without a moment break because it is self beneficial.

Now, how about we take a moment to breathe and use that same energy for this…huh? This rapists and pedophiles do not rest! Why? Because they haven’t been caught yet.

They move around everyday looking for their next victim. Looking for that helpless child to ruin while they get satisfied. It’s worst when it’s a family member because that little girl or young lady will never speak up due to fear of getting beaten and tongue-lashed. So, the truth gets buried and that child grows hating men and the world. Worst case scenario, she ends up getting raped again but this time it’s from the love of her life and so it becomes a norm, a cycle, a web that she can’t escape from.

I ask this question again, how did we get here?

I can’t even begin to fathom any of this because I’m angry, sad and hurt. I believe we can do better now. I believe our parents can do better now. I believe society can stop shaming women now and do better. I believe the Education board can do better now.

I believe we can do better if we begin to create more educational awareness about this matter.

Let all hands be on deck on this issue plaguing our women, societies, countries and families.

Let us not be mute about it anymore even if it means calling out those predators.

PS: there is nothing like consented rape. Rape is Rape!

Let me add one more thing here. Our parents need to be sat down and taught about this more because even our little boys are being raped and molested too.

There is a lot of unlearning to do and it starts with us individuals.

We need to let go of hypocrisy and embrace knowledge and awareness that will lead to a better life.

I believe we can do it only if we try….

This wallflower can only but write and hope it gets out someday.

Meaningless World

Words, are getting shorter with the growing years. Minds, are getting lost in the depth of time. Legs, are getting quicker to submerge. Finally, the world is moving mad and it’s you and I making stagnant change.


I see these things and I can’t help it. I go behind closed doors and weep. Thrashing about and taking in big lumps of air. Mama is downcasted and dada is trying really hard but the question is, is it enough?

Is it ever going to be enough?

Uncle Ike is not getting any better and neither is brother Afam getting that job soon. Adanna my best friend has ran off with that big man who won’t see the value in her but instead treat her like trash all because of money. Precious little cherubs getting invaded in the most gruesome way.

It is indeed meaningless!

This wallflower can only but write and hope it gets out someday.

Welcome to the secretwritingsofawallflower…